Day 13 - The Storm Has Arrived 10/25/2020

Sigh.... this morning I woke up to a snow storm (knew it was coming) so I wanted to make sure Lilly was doing well. I just bought a new to me 4x4 so I could see her even on bad weather days. Well I get out to the car and realize the door won’t shut. I try to fix it - it doesn’t fix (plus my car is iced over) it’s very cold and still storming. But I really want to check on her. So I bungie cord the door shut and hold it as I slowly drive out to the farm.
I forgot her feeder in the field so I have to tramp through 12 inches (above my boots) of snow to get the feeder and put it close to the pasture so we don’t have to walk through deep snow.
Lilly is covered in snow and happy to see me. We do a quick change and lead her to her food ( just outside the gate because the snow is too deep). She has pushy and anxious but we got over to the food. She put a lot of snow in her food while kicking it but successful. 

Another positive - Jerry told me that Lilly and Beryl were eating from the same feeder this morning!!!!
Fast forward to this evening -
Car door still broken
Storm still storming but much better visibility
Still very cold
Drive out to farm and Lilly is happy to see me - but she’s a complete asshole. She is pushing on gate so I can’t open it. She is pacing. She tries to bite me. She won’t let me put her halter on (first time for that) (she has been giving me more head shakes when putting halter on but she eventually lowers her head and puts nose in it). Since she was being so pushy and the snow was so deep I tried to do it over the fence and she refused. Since she was being so pushy and seeming to be aggressive - I left without giving her the feed. Her behavior was completely unsafe.
What would you have done?
I feel guilty - but also like it was the right thing. I think I would have gotten hurt if I tried to go in the pasture with her. She seemed very upset that I left without her getting the supplements....
What did she learn from this? That is what I’m trying to figure out as I sit in my house feeling guilty.....

My trainer 

Hey 

Candice Steele

, you did the right thing, your safety always comes first. She won't take any harm if she doesn't have her supplements for a few days while the conditions are so difficult with the snow. Cold, wet and snow can cause horses to be more emotional. Don't feel bad, you did your best and most importantly, you took care for yourself.

Gabriele

 thank you! It’s reassuring! I’m glad I didn’t teach her something bad.

Candice Steele

 you would have taught her something bad if she would have pushed out the gate and gotten to the food. Nevertheless, next time you go to her, be prepared to be firm and calm.

Gabriele

 that’s what I thought! I’m so glad I walked away! I will be prepared! That’s another reason I left. My emotions were starting to escalate too which I knew would not help. I have to be calm and the conditions where making it nearly impossible.

When I try again tomorrow morning I’m going to do some breathing to calm myself. And not bring her halter or the food out. Just be present with her. I’m just going to connect with her first and see how she is.

Candice Steele

 great plan. Have the halter and rope with you. Without intentions. But maybe you will be happy you have the rope to use it as helicopter in case she gets pushy or any of the other horses come to bother you. And in case she is good, you can rub her with the halter, and play with haltering. Always remember : you safety is most important. Take yourself out of the situation if you feel you need to

Another member - 

Wow I was reading all that thinking oh my gosh those are some tricky conditions let alone trying to work with a horse!! You did so well and yes I would have walked away too (and felt guilty) but you sometimes have to when it is not safe x

Another Member 

Gosh, that's is very difficult conditions to work in, well done Candice, and really glad that you stayed safe and well